My Super Self walks in the door, bell ring.
INT. Tromaville Comic Book Store, continuous.
My Super Self walks into the store. It is well-organized and well-stocked. The manager, Lloyd Kaufman, is seated behind the counter, reading X-Babies. My Super Self approaches him.
MY SUPER SELF
Hey, man, how's it going?
LLOYD KAUFMAN
It goes, my friend. Anything I can help you with?
MY SUPER SELF
Yeah, thanks. Hey, do you have any Ninja Turtles shit?
Pause.
Lloyd Kaufman looks My Super Self over to see if I'm fucking with him. I clearly am.
LLOYD KAUFMAN
Oh, fuck you, man.
I walk away, further into the store, smug.
LLOYD KAUFMAN
Asshole. Hey, boys!
At his call, The Toxic Avenger and Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD step out of a back room and stand on either side of him, ready for his instructions. Lloyd Kaufman nods in my direction.
LLOYD KAUFMAN
Get him.
They charge me and grab me.
LLOYD KAUFMAN
Greetings from Tromaville, motherfucker.
Epic fight scene where I take on the two Troma icons. In the corner, a Bat-Mite version of My Super Self cheers me on. I am victorious!!!! But I don't kill them. I'm like Batman. After the Golden Age.
Pleased with my violent but non-homicidal success, I exit the comic book store.
EXT. Tromaville Comic Book Store
Slightly bruised and bloody, but still badass, I exit the store. Soon, Toxie steps out after me.
TOXIE
Hey, man. Not bad in there.
MY SUPER SELF
Yeah, you too. Respect.
TOXIE
Normally, we would have killed you, but…you'll see.
I become visibly intrigued.
MY SUPER SELF
I'll see what?
TOXIE
I don't know that it's my place to say.
MY SUPER SELF
Christ almighty, you're the goddamn Toxic Avenger!
TOXIE
Okay. You're right. But we need to be careful, they have ears everywhere. All I can tell you, is find the bridge. Under the bridge, you'll meet Ron Jeremy. He'll tell you your next move. Now go. I've already said too much.
Toxie walks back into the store.
MY SUPER SELF
Well…thanks Melvin.
I walk away, thinking.
